LA Parent photoshoot - the UNCUT version!

I was honored this month to be published by LA Parent Magazine.

It's the story towards the top of the page about Dating Your Husband. The article is based on a post I wrote for this blog called Secret Dates and if you haven't run out and raided your local Vons, Pavilions, Gelsons or library for a print copy of the February issue.....you could read it here (and leave a comment if you want to make me look good, I mean, help others with some great ideas of your own, ha ha). But it's so much more fun to see it in print. For me anyway.

I had thought there was a possibility that we would even be on the cover because they sent out this very talented photographer, Jodye Alcon, who took countless pictures of the families that were able to come to the park for the shoot. This is the photo they used in the magazine:

I think we look a little like a soap opera

So this isn't going to be about romance or relationships - well maybe a little. This is going to be  the UNCUT, behind the scenes version about the lovely group of people whose experiences helped shape my first magazine feature article. 

First off, it was a lot of kids.

And they weren't all exactly listening.

And they had some feelings.

But Mommy-extrodinaire, Jen Press had a bright idea.....

It was actually a bright blue idea.....

yes, their mouth are blue

Which got their attention.....but may have not been the best strategy right before picture time.....

However we got it done as you saw from the first picture.

And, I was obviously very excited and in the wee hours of the morning before we were to meet at the park for this photoshoot, I had some great ideas for some fun pictures.

First, I wanted all the guys to wear aprons.

Don't they look handsome?

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at the eventual mutiny.

I also thought it'd be cute for the girls to have roses, you know, to symbolize romance. We like flowers right?

Maybe just not in our mouths, yuck.

I really wanted to impress the editors with my creativity. So we went for the Charlie's Angels look.

I think we look very intimidating....or confused....why are we trying to look scary with roses again?

And then we started taking pictures of the families individualy, which was really fun so go with me here....

Terri Harrah used to be my roommate in Santa Monica when we went to CSUN. I majored in Journalism and she in Drama.

she really is quite dramatic

Terri is a down to earth, true blue friend. She cares about the planet, treating other people with kindness and dignity and homeschools her two boys Truman and Ethan.

Ethan, 6 and Truman 9

And she is happily married to her (working) musician husband, James Harrah. They prioritize their relationship because they know it all starts with them.

Maybe Jen Press is such a quick witted parent because nature has forced her to be so. She is a work-outside-the-home mom to three boys. She's also a lot of fun. I don't get to see her as often as I like. (One of her most memorable sayings is "Only floss the teeth you want to keep." Yes, she's a dental hygenist.)

Zach, 6 is between Trevor and Dylan, 4 - who are TWINS

God bless her. Did I mention that her husband Jeff is helping to open restaurants all over the country, called Firehouse Subs so he travels A LOT. Good thing she is patient and takes the time to plan outings that keep their fires kindled (oh and yes, they like to camp a lot too).

I don't know how they make it look so easy

Laurel Janssen Byrne is a writer too. She is writing her own life story with strokes of compassion as she is the gal to go to if you need a little TLC fix, and some steely nerve. I keep forgetting she's not from NYC because she and her husband Matt are so edgy. No, not cranky just so off the cuff honest with each other and the world. It's refreshing.

Yin and Yang - such a perfect fit

And they make cute kid.

good thing she is cute cuzz this couple is ONE AND DONE

And of course, there was my family.

Kyle wasn't here because he went surfing this day

And my guys were unusually patient and smiled on cue.

brotherly love (rare moment)
Kaleb, 5 - loves rainbow loom, dodge ball and bey blades
Knox, 3 - loves his doggie blanky, all sports and homemade biscuits

So thank you to the awesome families that were brave enough to share their stories and hopefully inspire couples to reboot their love lives....bring the sizzle back to their fizzle....make love not war. OK, I'll stop. But here again are the lovely families who make my life so much better by being in it. Thank you again.....

Two other families couldn't make it to the park this day (it was after all New Year's Eve day) so I just want to acknowledge and thank them too for sharing their stories.....

Morgan and Todd Addab (not their real name, ha ha) couldn't come because Todd had to work. Todd and Howard used to be fraternity brothers (insert the Animal House soundtrack here because I'm sure it applies) and their friendship has travelled the circuitous route that our lives sometimes take and has brought them together again at a time when our families are child compatible. And how many of our friendships end up being based mainly on this criteria? But in this regard we got lucky and I just love his wife Morgan who is one of the most gracious and kind people I've met.

Jon Jr., 20, Morgan and Todd, Justin, 5

Nicole and Danny Baraz are the hip element of this article. Oh the days when we were hip.....

Danny and Nicole, Mason (now 9) and Odessa (now 6, but gosh arent' they the cutest!)

Thanks for reading and I hope you find the article useful or helpful in some way. Even if your relationship is solid and you couldn't squeeze more romance into it, at least there are some great date ideas! Now, go and spread that love! And Happy Valentine's day!

The Chair

This is the chair I have lived with for over 8 years.

It's the chair that I have come to accept as a practical part of my life. It's not my style but it's functional and there's no reason to go out and buy another chair since this one works. At least that's what I've been telling myself for 8 years.

There's a bit more to this story than just a functional chair. This chair used to belong to my husband's deceased wife. Her passing, 14 years ago,  is a tragedy. It is one that we all live with, in subtle ways, everyday. I've done many things around the house that I inherited from her, things to make living here not feel like I am living in someone else's life. The living room has been remodeled, painted and shifted. The dishes have mostly been replaced. The bedroom furniture (and mattress) is new.....except for, of course, the chair.

I didn't understand how much it bothered me. I realize now that, unconsciously, I used to picture her sitting in it and getting ready for her day, bantering with the husband we now share and laughing with the child she had to leave behind. In a way, the chair is her anchor to the new life I've tried to create with my husband and my little boys and, of course, the boy she had to leave behind. But for some reason, I didn't have the guts to get rid of it. Maybe, my reluctance was my way of letting her hold on to her grip to the most intimate part of my house. Maybe, in some small part of me, I felt guilty.

I finally shared the meaning of the chair with my husband one night.

He was surprised. He had thought I had brought the chair with me when I moved in. He had no recollection of it previously at all. He asked why I hadn't said anything sooner. I couldn't really answer past the tears clouding my vision.

This past Monday I celebrated my birthday. I love birthdays. I've decided that as we grow older, every year should be a party to celebrate that we're still here, that we still get to enjoy the gifts we've been given and resolve, in the next year, to become yet even better versions of ourselves.

My husband waited until the end of the day to give me his gift. I could tell he was up to something when I tried to go into our room and the door was locked. OK, honey, I called out. I have no idea what you're up to, wink, wink, I said to him through the door, laughing to myself that he always waited until the last minute to do these things.

Then the door opened and I rushed in to get something I needed for one of the boys. I stopped right in my tracks. And this is what I saw:

And I started to cry. Because, he heard me.

Living Life On the Sidewalk

How many of us are waiting for something to happen so our "real" life can begin? When I graduate from college then my life can start. When I get married, when I have a baby, when I get that job, when we move into that new house....I know I fall into this category. Over and over again. I'm always waiting for the next big thing to happen so my life can really start.

Yesterday I shared a moment with my children when they discovered caterpillars on the park sidewalk.

I'm not sure if they too are already fantasizing about the day their "real" lives will begin (though I do hear Kaleb say things like, "Mommy when I turn five, then can I watch Power Rangers?" ~ he just turned four!) but it was at that moment that I realized that this was my actual life and it was already happening! I've done most of the stuff on my list: I graduated from college. I had a fulfilling career. I met an amazing man and married him. I had two incredible children and inherited one from my husband. My life is on. There is no reason to keep delaying my full appreciation of it.

I recently heard that people don't realize that they're happy until the moment's over. That made me so sad. It made me want to horde every moment so I can use every bit of it up while I still had it. Everything changes. Sometimes not fast enough, sometimes much too fast. But once it's gone, it's just a memory. I'm going to try and make my memories ones of moments I don't regret not appreciating.