Write On!.....(Why I Write)

I helped start a writing group.

This was our first official picture (almost a year ago!)....we've since acquired new members

I say "helped start" instead of just "started" because I had had the idea in my head for some time. But I needed to meet the right writers to make it happen. Had they not agreed to be part of the adventure, there would have been no adventure. 

I guess over time most writers turn blonde.
(this is a more recent pic of some of us on a road trip to support Kim Prince in her stage debut)

There are two main reasons why I wanted to have a group like this in my life. One, I needed the support and accountability that comes from being part of a fellowship. I have had this experience before in my life and found it worked quite well. Second, I thought if I surrounded myself with writers maybe I could convince myself I too am a writer. I still have my doubts. But they tell me I am and that is great to hear.

One of the original members above, red haired Charlene Ross, participated in an online writing train where writers talk about their Writing Process (#mywritingprocess). At the end of her post, she picked three writers to ride on that train. She picked me as one of the writers.

Again, I am grateful that she considers me a writer and also that she picked me from the many writers that she knows and (wait for it), I will do that too. You know, to keep the train going. So if I pick you, please join us on this lovely ride into the workings of our inner selves. And if I didn't pick you it means 1) I didn't know you wrote a blog bc I really had to wrack my brain to find the three I did or 2) you're not a writer but are a reader, so please kick back and join us on this journey.

Why do I write what I do?

I write mainly three things (not counting Facebook status updates). I write short fiction stories, non fiction stories and blog posts.  My heart is in the fictional worlds I create like this one. It's also an opportunity for me to work out my fears and feelings about things happening to me or to our world. It's a little like an exorcism. A way to get out the demons and the jesters that live in my head. There are observations I've made of people and the world in which we all live. I am always looking and taking mental notes. I've written much more in my head than I've ever written on paper. Sometimes, I'll even grab a piece of paper, if there's one handy, because I know if I don't capture the thought, it'll drown in the thousand of others that follow it, never to be seen again. Stories are like that too. I've procrastinated on stories I thought were so original then watched a movie, that was my story, being told by someone who didn't wait around to tell it.

My non-fiction started when I decided to major in Broadcast Journalism in college. That in itself was a victory and I kept expecting people to laugh when I told them what I was doing. It was only my father who commented how unpractical this was because it is such a competitive field. (This was a recurring theme in his parenting me) But I had a plan. I was going to become a well known reporter and then write a book, thereby already securing a built in audience. Well, I didn't wait long enough to become a well known reporter (my instincts for success conflicted with the seemingly accelerated pace of my biological clock) but I did start writing for print newspapers and magazines while I was pregnant with Kaleb. That was the last bit of free time I regularly had to myself. It's only now that the kids are in school that I can start focusing on that again.

My blog is almost like a free sample for prospective readers. Since I never became that famous reporter, I need to give out bits of myself for readers to know whether I taste good or not. I figure, if you like the various styles I offer on my blog, then maybe you'd be interested in a longer format piece, like the books I will someday find the time to write. Plus, I don't have to get anyone's approval to publish the things I want to write. All I have to do is hit the publish button. 

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

I think if we're talking strictly blogging, my work tends to be sporadic and disorganized compared to the official blogging sect. But it's also original because it's my work being presented by me. I strive to be really honest and I try to present things in an interesting way. I suspect that if I found more time to actually write, I would get much better at this.

How does your writing process work?

If I show up to write in front of my computer, the words will come. No matter how many excuses I make beforehand or activities I find to distract myself, once I arrive to write, I write. Then I edit. And edit.

Since joining the writing group, it's become a lot easier to convince myself to just get in front of the screen and start typing. I know some people prefer paper but I think my brain is trained to work with keyboards and formats where it is much less messy to edit.

What am I working on?

I am lucky to have been offered some stories to write for LA Parent magazine. They are amazing to work with. Very warm and supportive - obviously a theme I seek out in my writing life. From this platform, I intend to submit to more national magazines, probably parenting ones since that is the place in my life where I happen to live.

I also have a few sci-fi shorts I have written and am editing and will be submitting after just having my first one actually published.

I also had a huge gift fall into my lap. A friend introduced me to someone whose life story needs to be immortalized. It is interesting on levels that scrape beneath the skin. I have spoken to this person many times now and we are evolving his story into one that will become the first book I will have the honor of writing.

Ok that's it from me.

Now.

Let's invite some new conductors onto this train of self discovery.

Julie Gardner is the newest member of the Writing Safety Tree - our writing group. She used to be an English teacher and her notes on works in progress are sweet and priceless, just like her.

Laurel Jansen Byrne is a friend from a group that helped ease me into motherhood, the Westlake Village MOMS Club. And she turned out to be a writer and was the cherry I needed to help me make this sweet concoction of a writing group. She's also probably the only one of us that has a actual education in creative writing.

And Jessica Craven, whose simple and precise words make my heart bleed regularly when I read them. I haven't seen her offline in ages but she came to mind when faced with the assignment of finding three talented bloggers to choose for this fun exploration into self.

                                   

Lostmnesia.....a process with some victories

I don't want anyone to think that just because I've had a short story and a feature magazine article published this month that I think I'm a rock star or some kind of super hero. But what really does deserves a pat on the back is that I overcame the limitations I placed on myself long enough to finally make something happen with that writing.

First off, Lostmnesia was rejected by twenty four literary magazines. Twenty-four. Twenty four times, I had to read why someone thought my story was good but needed just a little of this or a lot of that or just wasn't right for them at this time.  That's a little like: it's not you, it's me, so let's just be friends.

And then there are all the literary magazines that just plain ignored me. I didn't even get the closure that at least comes with a rejection.

If it wasn't for my supportive friends in my writing group - Writing Safety Tree - and my amazing husband, my writing wouldn't have happened.

Some of us couldn't come because of mommy duties but from top
left to right we have Laurel Janssen Byrne, Julie Gardner,
Charlene Ross, me, Kim Tracy Prince and Lexi Rohner

Writers (or me) are very sensitive people. So everything can hurt. But you have to be sensitive to pick up on the little things and then process them well enough to articulate what happened to complete strangers. Or friends. Or family.

It all starts with sorting through the feelings in your own head though. And that can be a sticky uncomfortable mess. You don't know what's in there or where it's been or who's touched it. Ick. I think maybe that's why many people stay away from it.

But then there are the masochists brave ones who insist on not only touching it but sorting through it and putting it together in an orderly fashion so that the next person might better be able to sort through their own sticky mess. I think that's what writers try to do. Or, I guess, what I try to do. Organize then inspire.

But then there are the mean voices. You may or may not have them in your head but the ones in mine do two things when I finally decide I'm going in. First they say, hey, look at all the stuff you have to do, like dishes and ordering prints for that summer album, before you can sit down and waste your time with your trivial writing pursuits. Then they say, you have nothing to say anyway and even if you did, you don't know how to say it in the right way.

Everytime.

I didn't used to have the strength to show up and write anyway. Well, maybe only in my journal but then I'd worry that someone would find it and I'd be exposed. But if the planets did align and I did actually find myself in front of my computer (avoiding Facebook) and actually getting some thoughts down - finding that kernel of truth inside that chaotic spin - the result inside my body after was almost orgasmic. Yes, it's that kind of high. Overcoming fear, deciphering the noise and putting together a tangible sentence leaves me walking on a euphoric cloud.

So, why can't I gather, to the forefront of my consciousness, all these fantastic memories of feeling just that and know that all I have to do is show up and sit down? Because the mean voices are louder than any others I can muster on my own. And it wasn't until I met my husband, who tries to drown out those mean voices with praise, that I started to suspect their lies. And it wasn't until I joined my writing group  that I no longer felt destined to share a lifelong prison cell, inside my head, with those mean voices.   I found out those voices live within every writer in our group. So, together, we lock hands and refuse to let them scare us anymore.

And, that's the real victory. It's not that I've had two things published this month. No, the victory is despite the roadblocks my own head has put up to deter myself from doing the only thing in my life (besides motherhood) that I've desired with my full heart, I've managed to break through with the help of my friends and the love of my husband.

So I guess that's the point. We are stronger together than we are alone.

It's still a challenge sometimes (um, especially now that there are kids in the picture who consider me their on call servant 24/7) but it's less so today than yesterday.

So, if you love something, go find someone that also loves that something and do it together. It's the miracle of communal creation. No one achieves anything alone.

And if you want to read my new short story, you can find it here. And if you want to leave a comment on their website to tell them what you thought of the story, you will have my eternal gratitude (well, only if you actually liked it, ha ha).